Distant Memory
by kenkade
Summary: Summary: Kyousuke is missing a very important part of his life. He doesn't know what it is, he should know what it is, and Kirino knows exactly what it is. Dreams of his supposedly forgotten past attempt to resurface at a critical time, but they can only do so much, only he can solve the puzzle if he hopes to truly reconcile his relationship with Kirino.
1. Prologue

A/N: This takes place after the "good end" of Oreimo season 1, but with a small twist. I combined both the good end and true route together in which, Kyousuke does indeed find out about Kirino leaving for America, but she still decides to leave regardless. Hope you all enjoy, this is my very first time writing a fanfic. Oreimo has been one of the most awesome anime/novels I've indulged in and I wanted to contribute to it as it's one of the very few stories that has moved me.

I do not own My Little Sister Can't Be This Cute. The story belongs entirely to the novelization of Tsukasa Fushimi. This fanfic is a labor of love and a contribution to said novel.

Prologue

_**"Hehehe, hey, Kirino! Hahaha, knock it off will ya?!"**_

_**"Fuhihi, take that, Onii-chan!"**_

_**"Gah, you! You're getting water in my mou-wargarble!"**_

_**"Fuhehehhee! You sound funny, Onii-chan!~"**_

_**"Ok, that's it, come here you!"**_

_**"Kyah! Hey put me down! Ahhhh, Onii-chaaaan!"**_

_**"And around and around we gooooo!"**_

_**"Yahaaaaaaa! Weeeeee! Don't stop Onii-chan!"**_

_**"Oh my, you two look soooo adorable! Let me take a picture of you two!"**_

_**"Yay! Ok!" "Alright!"**_

_**"Say cheese!" "Cheeeeeeeese!"**_

_**"Hehe, you two are so perfect together. My two precious little angels!"**_

_**"Fuhehehe, mommy, I'm gonna be with Onii-chan forever!"**_

_**"Heheh oh my, now wouldn't that be something? It's too bad you'll both grow up one day and separate..."**_

_**"Mom! Don't say something like!"**_

_**"No! I'm gonna marry Onii-chan when we grow up! Onii-chan is mine!"**_

_**"Me too, I'll make Kirino my bride for sure! We'll always be together!"**_

_**"Hahaha, oh you two..."**_

...

...

...

**Kyousuke POV / Kousaka Household: April, 7:00 am.**

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEE- *smack*

"Gah, jeez...another one? Why am I having these dreams?"

It's been about a month now since my little sister Kirino left for America to take track and field training, and ever since she's left, a little piece of me went with her. It's weird, I thought that after she had left, I'd be happy. No more life counseling, no more being forced to play eroge, and no more of her shenanigans that usually ends up with me humiliating myself. The first week went fine, I didn't think much of it. But as the days went on, little by little...I started to miss my little sister. I hadn't started to realize it until Kuroneko pointed out that I was using her as a replacement for Kirino when I was trying to help her out at school. She was new and seemed to be having a hard time fitting in. I just thought it was my instincts to help those in need, but when she confronted me about it...deep down, I knew what she said was the truth and it hit me hard: I miss...my little sister.

Despite pissing me off beyond my limits, her unreasonable demands and the way she treated me most of the time, whenever I got the chance to see my sister's smiling cute face, it made it all worth it. But now, not being able to see her face at all is enough to bring me down. Worst of all...are these dreams. Fragments of a past that I can't even recall. Whether it's because it's been such a long time or I've forgotten is a mystery to me. These dreams started up right as soon as Kirino left and to this day, shakes me to the core.

"I guess...I should get up and get ready for school."

I shake my grogginess off and rise up from my bed. I grab my toiletries and walk out of my room. Just as I was about to reach the stairs, I stop. I can't tell if I did it out of my own accord or subconsciously, but I can no longer continue down my intended path. Instead, I turn around, and face Kirino's door. Lately, I've been more conscious of that door, when I would normally pretend it didn't exist. After awhile, I walk towards her door, and just stare at it, directly at the name plate. I already know what I'm going to find, I already know no one's behind that door. I already know once I open that door an intense sense of pain and longing is going to rush into my chest...but I can't help it.

I turn the knob and open the door slowly. I cross the entrance and just stand in the middle of the room, either out of irony or because it feels natural, I don't know. Now I have an intense need to just sit here...which I eventually do. I kneel on both my knees and stare up towards a now empty bed. Feelings of longing for someone to click her tongue or insult me rushing through my mind. I swear I can almost hear her words:

_"Tch. Gross. Siscon."_

"Heh, maybe you're right, Kirino. Maybe I am a siscon."

As I say that, I start to recall the night when I first discovered Kirino was to leave for America. A night I will never forget. The night I would give Kirino her final life counseling, one that ended in disaster.

A/N: Hey there! Thanks for taking the time to check out my fanfic. I think I have a good idea as to how I want to go about it so I expect to have a chapter out every week or so. So far I've completed 2 chapters, just to give a taste of the story. I appreciate any favs, reviews and follows!


	2. The Last Life Counseling

Chapter 1: The Last Life Counseling.

**Kyousuke POV / Kousaka Household: March, 1:54 am**

I had just gotten back from Akihabara to pick up a few eroge my little sister wanted me to get at midnight. It was a weird request. At first I was going to say no, but then she gave me that cute look, that sweet, innocent look with her blue sapphire eyes beaming up to me, pleading for my help. I couldn't refuse. Although it was embarrassing, it was worth it when I got back and saw her face light up with joy. We played one of the eroge for a bit, but then I decided it was time for me to go to bed. After declaring that, Kirino quickly jumped up and stopped me, I was confused. She requested more life counseling although she said it would be the last after I had gotten her games. On the outside I was frustrated, but on the inside, deep down I was happy. I didn't show it of course, but I complied and listened to what she had to say. Kirino then opened up her secret closet and pulled out a medium sized cardboard box. Inside were some doujinshi, an old I-pod and an album.

She asked me to take a look at the album. At first I was hesitant, worried that I'd find something even more extreme than her little sister eroge, but I manned up and decided to check it out. I demanded she give me the album, but at the last second she changed her mind. Was she playing around with me or something or just didn't trust me? I wasn't going to just sit there after she practically just flaunted that thing! I stood up and grabbed the album out of her hand, accidently dropping it on the floor. When I went to pick it up, two items dropped out of it: A picture of a younger Kirino when she still had brown hair, in a track uniform holding a baton. The look on her face in said picture told me she may have lost. It broke my heart alittle. But what really caught my attention was the other item, which...to my shock was:

"A flight ticket...to America?"

"..."

"Wait...this is scheduled for...today?!"

"It has nothing to do with you..."

"Huh? Why not? What are you going to America for?"

Kirino snatches the ticket and picture out of my hands and says:

"I'm getting track coaching there. I won't be back until High school."

"High..school? But that's like a year from now!"

"Yes...it's a good opportunity, so I'd thought I'd take it. I already told mom and dad about it. Dad of course wouldn't agree to pay for it, but I didn't need him to, I've already been saving up for half a year now from my job and my novel. All there's left to do...is go to the airport in the morning.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, but what I wanted to know more was:

"Why didn't you tell me?"

She hesitated a bit. I can see her straining, holding back un-shed tears in the corners of her eye. Then she responded, and it made me want to yell.

"Because I didn't have to."

"What the hell? But aren't I your brother? Shouldn't I be just as important as everyone else?"

"Tch. Did you not remember what I said before? Don't think that just because we've been talking alittle means anything."

It took every once of my self control not to punch a hole in the wall.

"Geh..but...after everything this past year...I thought..you and I were getting close again. And now after I'm finally getting to know you more, you're just going to up and leave out of my life?"

Kirino's eyes shot up in an instant and gave me a death glare. Apparently I said something that hit a sensitive spot.

"Don't you dare say that! You have no right, you jerk! You've blew me off for 3 years, and now you think you can play the big brother role?!"

I am now at my limit. Screw this. I didn't get a chance to say this the last time she said that out of shock, but now it's the time.

"That's bull crap! I didn't blow you off...you...you pushed yourself away from ME!"

Kirino face went into complete shock. But I couldn't stop there. It's time to release these feelings I've held for 3 long years.

"I...I've tried...everyday to talk to you. To find out what was wrong. That day you first blew me off, I was confused. Hurt even. I thought it was because you were entering your rebellious phase or something. But as the days went by, you just kept getting angrier and angrier at me! You even started hitting me! You've never hit me before!"

Kirino tilts her head down, I can't even see her face now, but I continue.

"It continued on for months, I didn't know what to do anymore. I even tried asking Mom for help and even she said she didn't know what was up. So then, I finally decided..."

I took a deep breath. Knowing exactly what I'm about to say but afraid of how she will react:

"I decided I would try one last time, to finally try and resolve everything, to get my little sister back. I was desperate to know what I did wrong and how I can fix things. I grabbed your wrist right when you were heading out one day and I asked you, I pleaded with you, to tell me what I did wrong. Do you remember what you said?"

Kirino looks up at me, tears flowing down her face and says:

"You're dead to me."

I winced at the words. Even if was unintentional those words will forever haunt me.

"Yea...you said that...after that...I stopped trying. I gave you your space, and left you alone. I gave you what you wanted, but what kills me the most...is that I don't even know why. Why Kirino? Please tell me why?

"YOU SHOULD KNOW WHY!"

I jumped back, preparing for an onslaught of words that might destroy me more than her fist would do. What she said to me next shocked me.

"You...you said you would always be there for me. You said we'd be together forever! You said...you loved me!"

W-wh...what did you say? I said...that?!

"But what did you do? You betrayed me, you left me for that glasses wearing bitch! You lied to me from the very start! I can't believe you would forget something like that!"

"What?! What are you going on about? I do love you, you're my little sister! What's gotten into you, and what the hell does Manami have to do with any of this?"

"EVERYTHING!"

I was speechless. Did I...did I really say all those things? I...I can't remember. It was so long ago. We were kids, weren't we? But if that's the case, how come Kirino remembers this and not me? Kirino and I were always close as kids. But just..how close were we? Why can't I remember?! Also what the hell does Manami have to do with anything? She's always been so nice. I mean yea, I already know Kirino doesn't like her, that much has been painfully obvious, but she never told me why.

"...Kirino."

"Shut up! I...I don't want to talk about this anymore. I appreciate everything you've done for me this past year, I really do. But it doesn't make up for everything and it never will. You...you're..."

Please...don't say it...oh god please don't say it.

"You're dead to me!"

The room fills with silence and a tense atmosphere. We don't take our eyes off of each other. We just stood there. Staring. Our emotions raging through our eyes. And then...I finally break. I shed my tears in front of my little sister.

"I...I'm sorry. Whatever I did to you in the past...I'm so sorry, Kirino. Please, forgive me. I don't...want to lose out on your life again."

"I can't...forgive you...when you don't even know what you're apologizing for."

Kirino wipes all her tears away and straightens up herself, glaring at me, but I can see in her eyes. Those ocean blue eyes of sadness, regret, and disappointment.

"Goodbye, Aniki."

She turns to walk away from me. Out of desperation and impulse, I grab her wrist.

"Kirino...please."

*THONK*

In a blink of an eye, Kirino headbutts me, knocking me out cold. I don't know where she gets her strength from in such a small body. It never ceases to amaze me.

Next thing I know, I wake up in my bed, a pail full of crumpled up, bloody tissues right next to it. I shot up quickly and rush towards to Kirino's room, fear and panic immediately taking hold of me with my head pounding from last night. Not even caring to request permission to enter, I burst in, and to my horror, Kirino made good on what she said. She's gone. Her room half empty. Her bed is bare. I drop my shoulders and arms. My head goes next, taking in the truth that she's gone. Out the corner of my eye, I see a small piece of paper on her desk. It's a note, from Kirino to me. No doubt anticipating that I'd come in here after she'd left. I take a deep breath and read it:

_-Kyousuke_

_Please continue to keep your promise and protect my collection._

_I'm sorry for hitting you last night._

_See you, Aniki._

_-Kirino._

Out of curiousity, I turned the letter around and found a small message which brought a smirk to my face:

_-P.S. Don't steal my panties while I'm gone. Siscon._

I chuckled lightly while shaking my head a bit. Putting the note in my pocket, I sigh in defeat. Out of sadness and a bit of anger, I mutter to myself:

"It's for the best. Give it your all...you idiot."

I still cannot get over what happened that night, and what bothers me the most is what she said:

_"YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT!"_

_"You said...you loved me!"_

_"You betrayed me!"_

I have no idea what she means. But those words keep replaying in the back of my head even to this day. What should I know? How did I betray her? Important of all, don't I already love her? She's my little sister, despite not getting along all these years, I obviously still care for her. Is that what she means?

Something tells me, deep down in my heart, I'm missing something important. Something terribly important, and it holds the key to finally repairing my relationship with Kirino.

If only...she was still here.


	3. Opposite Ends of the World

Chapter 2: Opposite Ends of the World.

**Kyousuke POV / Kousaka Household: April, 7:30 am.**

I finish getting ready and head downstairs for breakfast. Mom and dad are already at the table. Silence fills the air, an uncomfortable and awkward silence. It makes my chest tighten. I haven't felt this way since the time dad found one of Kirino's eroge. It was horrible.

"Kyousuke, where's your greeting?"

"Geh...sorry. Good morning, Mom and dad."

"Hmm."

Dad nods in acknowledgement, so does mom, which isn't like her. I can already tell what this is all about, as I stare at the empty chair next to me. Dad again breaks the silence:

"It's been a month since Kirino left...and I haven't heard anything from her. Have you, Kyousuke?"

"No sir, she hasn't contacted me at all."

"Hmm, this...is unsettling. She didn't even call to let us know if she made it there safely."

"Maybe she just got caught up in the sights or maybe she got right into her training, dear."

Mom says, with a hopeful look on her face. Still, dad seems close to fuming right now.

"That's no excuse! That girl knows better! Just because she's no longer in Japan doesn't mean she should forget her manners! To have everyone worried like this, I should fly over there now and scold her!"

Mom goes silent, knowing that dad is right. I can see it in her face that it's hurting her as well not hearing from Kirino.

"Kyousuke, you will let me know immediately if you hear anything from Kirino. I don't care if it's a text message. You will report any response to me, understand?"

"...Yes, sir."

I finish up my breakfast and head out to school. Thoughts running through my head. Why would she not contact Mom and dad at all? Isn't that going a bit too far? Was she that angry when she left? Not contacting me is expected, but our parents? How foolish can you be?

"Kyou-chan, are you alright?"

Wow, I didn't even notice Manami walking beside me right now. Judging from the distance I've walked, she must have been there for a good amount of time.

"Huh? Oh hey Manami, yea I'm fine. Why?"

"Well, you didn't say to me or anything the whole time we were walking..."

"Wait, how long have you been there?"

"Right from your house...I thought maybe you were ignoring me."

She gives me a pout then puts her head down. She looks slightly hurt. Damn, was I that deep in thought?! I feel like a real jerk right now.

"Ah...sorry about that Manami. No I would never ignore you. I'm just...not all there today."

"Oh? Could it have anything to do with Kirino-chan?"

Saw this coming.

"Maybe. A little. Yea."

"Could it be...that Kyou-chan misses Kirino-chan?"

Damn you, read me like a book. I can never hide anything from her, but I won't admit it to her.

"Ha! What are you talking about, Grandma? I'm relieved that little brat is gone. Finally I can get some peace and actually get a full nights sleep!"

I let out a half-hearted chuckle, hoping she wouldn't catch my bluff. She then gives me one of her trademark smiles which basically means "You're not fooling anyone, Kyousuke."

"Hmm, is that so?"

Putting her finger to her chin.

"Seems like lately, Kyou-chan has been depressed and lost in thought. You barely paid attention when we studied last week."

"Really? Am I that obvious?"

"Yup."

Damn. Alright, maybe I can tell her a little about what's bothering me.

"Alright alright, you win. Kirino hasn't made any contact with our parents since she's left. Our father isn't taking that too well and mom seems a bit upset about it as well."

"Hmm? I wonder why she would do something like that?"

"No clue."

"Has she contacted you at all?"

"No she hasn't. Why would she? Kirino and I just don't get along. I wouldn't be surprised if she told me to stay away from her grave."

"I think you don't give yourself any credit, Kyou-chan. I know Kirino really cares about you."

"Heh, right right."

She sure as hell have a way of showing it. I don't know how Manami could come to that conclusion. She clearly doesn't know Kirino as well as I do...hmm, now that I think about it...

_"You left me for that glasses wearing bitch!"_

_"What the hell does Manami have to do with any of this?"_

_"EVERYTHING!"_

I don't ever recall asking Manami why Kirino dislikes her, although I've always been curious about it. I decide this would be a good time, though I should tread carefully.

"Hey...Manami...have you ever uh...wondered why Kirino dislikes you so much? It always bothered me a little."

I kept my head facing the direction of our destination but turned my eyes towards Manami just in time to see her wince. Oh hell...did I say something wrong or maybe...

"Uhm...not really. I don't ever recall spending a lot of time with Kirino-chan or getting to know her much...why?"

"Oh...nothing really, just curious, it always bothered me because you're such a nice and caring person, I can't imagine anyone hating you, not even Kirino."

It's true, Manami has always been like family to me. I don't know what I'd do without her around the whole time growing up. Her family was always so great to me. So it makes no sense for Kirino to dislike her.

"Did Kirino...say anything about me before she left?"

She says while not looking at me, looking a little...nervous? That's unusual.

"Ah...no no. She hasn't."

"Are you sure?"

"Yea, of course I'm sure. She never mentions you, at all."

"...I see. Then that's ok."

Smiling again, we stopped talking the rest of the way to school. Manami's reactions were definitely a bit strange. I can't quite put my finger on it, but if I had to guess, she seemed...hesitant? Nervous even. No no, I'm just imagining things. Manami would never keep things from me. Unlike myself, it pains me to lie to her, but I can't always rely on her to solve my problems.

We arrived at school and sit at our respective desks. Manami's reactions still confusing me, I decide to finally let it go. Determined to have a good day today, I sit up and await our Sensei to start class.

"Alright everyone, turn the page to 197, we'll be reading the Jomon period which had the earliest known pottery in Japan."

The whole class moans and groans. I follow suit by plopping my head on the desk. It's going to be a long day.

**Kirino POV / Los Angeles, California, track camp: April, 4:00 pm**

It is now the afternoon in Los Angeles California, the location of my track coaching camp. In a secluded area, away from prying eyes, no doubt to help us keep our concentration. The air is beautiful with a full blue sky and the trees are lovely. You can hear the birds singing and the bees buzzing with wild life teeming all over. It's a sight to behold, to take in with every breath...unfortunately...today isn't one of those days as I find myself struggling to keep up with some of the most incredible track stars from all over the world.

*Whistle blow*

"Alright girls! Good job today, I see a lot of improvements from you all. Let's go have some lunch and we'll continue later. Kirino, could you come over here for a second?"

"*pant pant* Yes coach?"

"How are you today? You seem to be struggling a little."

"Hah? No..I'm fine coach, really, I'm just...I guess I'm still getting used to a new location. I never traveled outside of Japan before."

"Hmm, I see. I'm just wondering because you don't seem to be doing as well as I saw you during training camp. Your determination back then was one to be reckoned with. That's what made me notice you."

I remember. That was back then when Ayase found out about my secret hobby and we had a falling out during the whole summer. I was crushed, my best friend wanting nothing to do with me, but I didn't have time to be all depressed. I was chosen to participate in training camp and I couldn't afford to be held back by my feelings. I couldn't let anyone down...but it wasn't easy, not by a long shot. It was torture all the way through.

"Ye..yes coach, I'm fine, really. I'll be 100% in no time. You can count on it."

I give her a forced smile, hoping she'll drop the issue.

"Alright Kousaka, I get you. Now go get something to eat, alright? We got a long day ahead of us."

"Yes!"

Not feeling hungry, I walk towards our dormitory when everyone headed out. It's looks really amazing, like a combination between a cabin and a small mansion. Each room can hold two people and there's plenty of space in each. My room mate hasn't returned yet, so I'll have the whole room to myself for now. I lay on my bed and bring my legs and arms close to my chest. It's quiet, very quiet, the lack of ambiance makes it even more so, and with that, my thoughts start to drift to the one person who I don't want to think about right now.

"Stupid Aniki."

I keep thinking about the night before I left. That horrible night when I got into a heated argument with Kyousuke. I never meant for it to end that way. I wanted to show him my album, in hopes that he would remember our past. I wanted to test him, to see how he would react, but fate played a nasty hand that night and he ended up finding my ticket to america hidden inside. I was so upset that I put on my armor and went back to my old ways towards him. Words lead to more words and I eventually snapped. I let out my emotions on him, which is something I worked so hard to prevent. I should have been stronger than that, but after he implied he had no idea why I blew him off all these years made all my pent up emotions flood out. How dare he?! How dare he try to act ignorant and innocent, as if I'm the one at fault for all these years!

I could have killed him right there...but...something was off. The look in his eyes when he told me what he remembered...they weren't the eyes of a liar. He seemed genuinely confused and hurt. It really looked as though he had no clue what I was talking about! That didn't make it any better though! The jerk! how could he forget after everything we've been through together, all the time we've spent...all the words we spoke to each other. How could he?

"No, he's lying, I'm sure of it. He just...doesn't want to take responsibility for hurting me those years ago..."

That has to be it right? Or maybe he never cared about me to began with...I was honestly close to believing that, but...after everything he did for me this past year, all the sacrifices he made, the way he protected me even when I wasn't aware of it and not once asked for anything in return...made me think he was still the onii-chan I looked up to, the only person I valued more than anyone in the world, the only one I fell in love with.

"I guess...we just grew up."

And that's why...I left, to try and move on from the hurt of seeing him, of knowing he never actually returned my feelings. That he never really saw me as more than a sibling. I see it and accept that now...but then why? Why do I feel like I have this huge hole in my heart? Will it go away over time? I can only wait and see.

"*hick*...No, I have to be strong. I can't cry anymore. This is reality and he knows it better than I do. This is...for the best. I won't forgive you though, Aniki. I won't forgive you for breaking my heart. No matter how long it was ago. Idiot."

I wipe my tears off my face and sit up, looking out the nearby window. I finally decide to take the time and enjoy the beautiful sight of the outside world, practically pleading with it to help me move on from this pain and longing. Just then, the door opens up and my roommate walks in.

"Ah, Kirino! What are you doing in here? Aren't you hungry?"

"Ah!...I'm fine Ria, just a bit under the weather."

I smile while secretly removing any leftover tears from my face. I can't bare to let this one see me at my weakest.

"Ooooh, ok. Well we have a few hours before we have to go practice. Let's talk some more!"

She says with the brightest smile an elementary schooler could ever have. So innocent and cute! Ria Hagry is my rival, or I'd like to think so. She's considered to be the fastest elementary schooler in the world. She practically lives off track. She's sweet and very energetic, and I've grown fond of her because she's like a little sister to me.

"Hehee, sure. I could use someone to talk to."

"Oooh, Kirino, your english has gotten so much better! You learn fast!"

"Fuhihihi, only because of your help Ria, you're a great teacher."

"Hehehe same to you! My japanese has improved a lot! Makes me so happy! So, shall we speak in english today or japanese?"

"Hmmm, how about english for today? We did english yesterday."

"Hahah, ok!"

She's so cute I could die. She reminds me so much of the little sisters in my eroge...minus the ecchi stuff.

"So..Kirino...tell me more about your brother."

Oh no! This isn't a good time for that. Just when I'm trying to move on and forget that jerk.

"Uhm...not today. Maybe another time?"

"Aww, but the way you talked about him last week made me really curious, pleaseeeee?"

I knew I would regret that. I've got to drop this now.

"Ahhh, actually Ria I'm not feeling too hot, maybe I should get som-OOF!"

Ria dives into me and wraps her arms around my torso, then looks up towards me in the most innocent way. Dammit, I don't think I can say no now.

"PLEEEEEEEEASE?"

I sigh in defeat, she's just too cute. I pull her up onto my bed and let her lean on my shoulder.

"Fine, but this is the last time. Ok?"

"Ooooh, how come, Kirino? Last time we've spoke about your Onii-chan, you seemed quite happy about it."

"Ahhh...you-you're just imagining things. How can anyone be happy about that idiot?"

"Tee-hee, perhaps Kirino doesn't want to admit she cares about her onii-chan?"

Kids, I swear, they have an amazing ability to sense a bluff whether they're aware of it or not.

"I...I don't care about that guy. Now hush before I change my mind!"

"Hmph! Fine. Just tell me more about him."

Ok Kirino, just give her the basics, no need for anything more than that.

"He's stupid, ignorant, distant, lying, perverted, plain, boring, useless, and most of all, a shameless siscon!"

Hah! How's that for a description?

"Ooooh, really? You never mentioned that before."

"Tch. It didn't cross my mind at the time."

"If all that is true though, Kirino, then...why are you smiling?"

"Hah? Smiling? I am no-"

I quickly glance towards the nearby mirror on the dresser and notice to my horror a big, stupid grin on my face. Oh my god, I'm blushing too! I shake myself out of it and immediately go on the defense.

"Ah! N...no I'm not smiling because of him! It..it's just...uhmm"

"You can't fool me, Kirino. I may 12 but I'm not a moron."

This kid, is so NOT cute at all!

"*sigh* ok, you win. While I don't deny anything I've said...he's isn't...that bad..I guess."

Ria moves in closer with a wistful look on her face. Looks like I'm not done yet.

"Oh? Continue, Kirino, hehehe."

"I guess...he's kinda sweet...and caring. He's not like most guys I've met. He never expects anything in return for the things he does. He's very...kind hearted."

I hesitate to look at the mirror again, knowing full well I look like a cherry tomato by now.

"Heheheh Kirino, your face is so red right now. Cuuuute!"

"Hush you. I just have a fever..."

"I would love to meet your onii-chan one day, he sounds like a great person. If you don't want him, I'll take him!"

"Wh-what are you saying?! You can't have him because he's MY Ani...AH! No I mean..."

Dammit. I let that slip! She's not going let that slide.

"Hahahha Kirino! I knew it. You care for your Onii-chan!"

"*sigh* Just hush. You've got what you wanted now. So let me get some sleep!"

"Yaaah! Ok ok, I feel like running now. You've gotten me all fired up. See you, Kirino!"

With a skip and a hum, Ria rushes out of our room. Again, the room falls silent and I'm back to my thoughts again. I decide I should really try and get some sleep to refresh myself for practice later on. Before laying down I look into the mirror again and notice my face is still flushed, beat red. God, what is wrong with me?

"Damn you, Aniki. Making me feel this way when I'm trying to forget you. Idiot."

A/N: Hey all! So one thing that bothered me about the anime/novel was that it never showed anything about Kirino's time in America. I thought that would have been a very interesting part of the story, if not important. Expect perspective changes here and there. Thanks for reading!


	4. Blood Oath

Chapter 3: Blood Oath

_**"Waaahhh! Onii-chan!"**_

_**"Huh? Kirino? What's wrong?**_

_**"I..I..*hick* I..."**_

_**"Hey calm down, Kirino. Tell me what's the matter?"**_

_**"I broke that big vase in the hallway by an accident. *sniff* I was trying to get my doll off the table and...and...waaah!"**_

_**"Ah! Are you ok?! You're not hurt are you?**_

_**"No, I'm fine Onii-chan...but what about the vase? I'm going to get in trouble! I don't want daddy to yell at me!"**_

_**"Hey it's ok, let's go take a look. Maybe I can..."**_

_**"KYOUSUKE! Get in here!"**_

_**"Geh! Yes sir!"**_

_**"Did you do this?"**_

_**"Uhm...well..."**_

_**"*sniff*"**_

_**"Answer me, Kyousuke, did you break this vase?"**_

_**"Ye...yes sir. It was an accident."**_

_**"*gasp* Onii-chan?"**_

_**"Shhh, it's ok, leave it to me."**_

_**"That vase has been in the family before you two were even born. It's irreplaceable. Go to your room. You're grounded for the rest of the week."**_

_**"Yes sir..."**_

_**"Onii-chan?! Why did you do that?"**_

_**"Hey, I said leave it to me, didn't I? I'll always protect you, Kirino."**_

_**"Onii-chan..."**_

_**"Onii-"**_

_**...**_

_**...**_

_**...**_

**Kyousuke POV / Classroom: April, 11:25 am**

*SLAM*

"Ahhhhh!"

"Mr. Kousaka, did you have a nice nap?"

Oh crap...I didn't mean to fall asleep. This won't end well.

"I'm...I'm sorry Sensei, I haven't been getting much sleep lately."

"Oh and why's that, Mr. Kousaka? Too many video games?"

Heh. If he were to ask that about 10 months ago, I'd be lying if I said no.

"No no...it's just..uhm..."

"Save it, Kousaka. I'll be giving you extra homework tonight."

"Ye...yes, Sensei."

*DING DING DING DING*

"Alright class, it's lunch time. I'll see you for last period."

"*Sigh* Even at school these dreams haunt me. This is almost too much."

The weird thing about these dreams is that they're recurrent. They have different scenarios yea, but they all involve a common theme: Kirino and myself at a younger age. I can't even recall when I had a different dream. Worse is that I can't exactly remember when they took place...or if they ever did. Why? It's starting to eat at me, slowly but surely.

"Kousaka, what's up? You look worst than usual."

"Ugh, Akagi...don't you have some homoge to buy or something?"

"Shhh, don't say that here, Kousaka! I have a rep to uphold!"

"Heh, right right."

Kouhei Akagi, another good friend of mines. I met him during middle school and he's been with me since. He has a little sister as well and he's a proud sis-con, willing to admit it without a moment's hesitation. During that night when I went to pick up Kirino's eroge in Akihabara, I ran into him buying a boy love game at the same place. Homoge I think it's called. Scared the hell out of me and I nearly ran for my innocence, until he explained to me that it wasn't for him, it was for his sister. At first I didn't believe him, but then after my discovery of Kirino's little sister eroge, it was hard not to. Afterwards, in some weird way, that incident strengthen our friendship.

"So what's going on? We haven't really spoke much since that night in Akihabara."

I explained a little about what happened between Kirino and myself, omitting the argument we had and just said that she never told me she was leaving.

"Ah Kousaka, that's harsh. I thought you and your little sister was getting along?"

"Tch. Nope. Nothing's changed and I don't really care either."

"Sure doesn't seem that way."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"Who are you fooling, Kousaka? What brother goes out of his way to buy an R-18 game for his little sister at freaking midnight?"

Got me there, but I'll counter-attack that.

"Uh...you?"

"Well, yea, of course I would. But we're not talking about me here."

"Look, Akagi, if you have a point then just spit it out already."

"Shouldn't it be obvious? No brother who doesn't care about his little sister goes out of his way to do that."

Akagi puffs out his chest and gives a proud smile.

"I love my little sister, she's an angel to me. I don't know what I would do if she ever left my life, let alone not saying a word about it. That would crush me."

It's amazing how similar we are to each other. Both of us are big brothers with little sisters and both of them have some sort of weird fetish that we help support with. Only difference is one of us actually has a good relationship with his sister. Guess who?

"Eh, it doesn't really bother me. I only did it so she would stop bugging me. Nothing more, nothing less."

I already knew from the look Akagi gave me, he didn't buy into my act. Eventually he drops the subject, but not without leaving an after thought.

"Ahh, whatever you say, Kousaka. There's no shame in missing your little sister. Sometimes, that's all it takes to move a step forward. Later."

With that, Kouhei leaves out the class towards the cafeteria. I sit here, head in my arms, thinking about what he said. To be honest, I envy the guy. He has a great relationship with his sister, something that I find extremely rare. I don't know anyone else who talks about there siblings with such pride than he does, kinda sad. Is it really determined that all siblings grow apart eventually in life? I guess it's natural. All I know is, whenever I see those two together, I get a feeling of nostalgia deep within my heart, and a bit of longing.

"Kyou-chan? Aren't you going to have lunch?"

"Hmm? Oh uhm..I think I'll skip it for today, Manami. I'm kinda tired. Might take this time to get some rest before next period starts."

"...Kyou-chan."

"Hmm?"

"It's nothing...you have a nice nap. Don't oversleep this time, grandpa."

"Sure thing, grandma."

We smile at each other and wave our good byes. I know full well Manami is aware of what's going on, along with Kouhei, but I can't seem to just be honest with them. I guess this is just my way to hide my depression, however a crappy job it's doing, but I don't want to admit that I miss Kirino. It's not out of a sense of pride or anything, I just can't at the moment. I need to figure out why.

*Beep beep beep*

"Ah. A text message? Could it be from..."

I hastily grab my phone out of my pocket and look to see who it is. To my surprise and slight disappointment, it was Saori. Yes, yes I was expecting maybe a certain strawberry blonde demon to finally contact me. Don't rub it in.

**To: Kyousuke**

**From: Saori Bageena**

**Subject: Hello!~ :3**

**-Kyousuke-shi! How are you? Sorry for texting you at this time. I know you must be at school still, but I was wondering if you'd like to meet up with Kuroneko-shi at your house later today. I've been busy lately and have some free time to spend. Text me back when you can!**

Oh yea, I haven't heard from Saori for awhile! Maybe Kirino messaged her or Kuroneko? I reply back.

**-Hey Saori! Good to hear from you! I'm doing well. Yes that would be great. I'll skip my club activities today so I can come home. See you then.**

Before closing my phone, I bring up my contact list. Huh, I have quite a few numbers on here compared to a year ago. Only numbers I had were Manami, Kouhei and my parents number. Kinda sad now that I think about it. Scrolling down, I read the contacts in my head:

Saori Bajeena. Ahh, Saori pretty much defines an otaku. She wears thick glasses with swirls on them, denim pants and a green long-sleeved plaid button shirt, complete with a yellow bandana on her head and puts her hair in two ponytails. She's also a freaking giant for her age going on 180cm. That's taller than me! Heh, I'd hate to get into a scuffle with her. She is one of my closest friends, second to Manami. She helped alot when Kirino first took her steps into the otaku world, and she treasures the bond we share. I'm confident that if one day Kirino and I seperate, she'll take good care of her.

Ayase. Kirino's best friend and fellow co-worker at her modeling agency, Ayase Aragaki is a beauty in her own right. Long, black hair, violet eyes. I'd say she's the second most beautiful girl I've seen, next to Kirino. Her personality though...is a whole different thing. She currently wants to kill me. Yea, no joke. She thinks I'm a perverted sis-con that lusts after my little sister and she's become overly protective of her. At first I thought we had a thing going when we first met, but that was all shot out the window when I helped Kirino and her reconcile their friendship. *Sigh* Such a waste, but then again maybe it was a blessing in disguise; I swear there's something loose with that girl.

Kuroneko. Ruri Gokou. She's definitely a unique one. She's Kirino's fellow otaku friend along with Saori, and in my opinion, her closest friend, even more so than Ayase. Why do I say this? Because Kirino can be her true self around her and their bickering is legendary, like an on and off relationship between two rabid cats. She also helped me prevent Kirino's novel that was being turned into an anime from being butchered by the production staff, despite her and I's jealousy. I think that's when we really started to bond that day. If I had to describe her, she's like a Japanese style ghost beauty. Long, straight black hair, pure white skin touched only with a beauty mark under her left eye. She cosplays as the queen of nightmares from her favorite anime Maschera wearing a white frilly top with a black bolero worn over it. She also wears a black skirt with crosses and gray stockings. To complete her look, she wears a headband with roses or sometimes a pair of cat ears. She'll also sport red contacts over her natural blue eyes. I have to admit, it's quite impressive and I was even more impressed when she told me she made it herself. She's currently my underclassman and I still try to look out for her from time to time. To this day, I still wonder about her motives for enrolling in my school.

Kanako. God, I don't even KNOW why I decided to keep this brat's phone number. She's also a friend of Kirino and a fellow model, and god is her attitude ugly. Bratty, stuck up and just a pain. Her looks matches her personality: She has a "loli" look, 148cm in height, red hair in twin tails tied usually with ribbons. The most shocking thing is that she strongly resembles Kirino's favorite anime character Meruru. Ayase and I used this to her advantage to win a birthday present for Kirino by tricking her in entering a cosplay contest. It was perfect. I posed as her manager that day and the rest is history. I admit though, it was kinda fun.

And lastly...Kirino. My pain in the ass, overachieving, perfectionist, bossy, abusive, selfish, perverted, sharp tongued, otaku of a sister. How's THAT for a description? But I have to admit, I admire the damn girl. She's multi-talented, beautiful and passionate about what she loves. Whatever Kirino wants, she'll work hard to get it. Long history short, our relationship...well...I don't know. A year ago I would say that it was bad. I didn't even have her cell number then, that's how bad it was. But now...I'm just not sure. It's complicated. She acts as though I'm the grossest person in the world to her, but always expects me to help with her problems. Me? Sometimes she irritates the living hell out of me, but I always look forward to making her happy. Heh, maybe that's what being a brother is all about.

"I wonder if I should give her a call..."

Her name is highlighted, blinking as if to further encourage me to press the call button. I really want to call her. Should I call her? Maybe she's busy at the moment with her training, It might be a bad time. The button is right there, my thumb is right over it, all I gotta do is push it...

*click* I close my phone and put it back into my pocket.

"Meh, who am I kidding? She wouldn't want to talk to me anyways."

**After school: April, 4:00 pm**

*DING DING DING*

"Alright class, that's enough for today, have a great weekend. Oh, and Kousaka, I expect that extra assignment done, or you're on cleaning duty for the next whole week."

"Yes, Sensei."

Slightly irritated, I walk out of class and start walking home, stretching my arms out and breathing deep as the cool breeze of the air rushes into my lungs to replace the stagnant air that lingers in the school building. Ahh the weekend. Some time to rest my fragile mind. The weather is really nice right now for April. Summer is just around the corner. It's too bad. If Kirino was here I'd asked her to go to the beach with Saori and Kuroneko.

"My my, don't you look positively droll."

Out of nowhere, Kuroneko pops up right beside me. I swear to goodness this girl might have some dark powers or something.

"Ah! Kuroneko? Where did you come from?"

"Your deepest, darkest nightmare."

"Ah hah...does that mean you've seen Kirino in there?"

"Hmm, speaking of the 'sweet' girl, might that be by any chance the reason you've been looking like the walking dead lately?"

Of course Kuroneko would notice. Can I even hide it from this girl?

"Ahh...I have no idea what you're talking about...just been tired lately, is all."

"Hmm, that so? ...How pathetic."

If I know Kuroneko by now, that pretty much means she doesn't buy it, but with how she is, she won't press the matter. Good, I'm looking forward to trying to have a good weekend.

"Anyways, Kuroneko, where are you heading?"

"My destination is your abode."

"Huh? Ho-how come? You can't watch Maschera at your house?"

"Fool...Saori has requested my presence at your home. I'm sure even a low level human like you would remember that."

"Ah right, almost forgot about that. I'm just having an off day."

"Hm. I see."

Ahh screw it. There's no sense in hiding it from this one, I may as well ask her.

"So uhm...have you...heard anything from Kirino?"

Kuroneko remains silent but stoic, I see no kind of reaction from her, which isn't weird, but makes it hard to read her. After a few seconds, she responses:

"...Possibly."

My heart nearly jumped out of my chest! Out of excitement I grabbed Kuroneko by her shoulder, not caring if she'd would mark me for death for doing so, and nearly yelled at the top of my lungs:

"Really?! When? What did she say? Is she alright?"

My eyes were glistening, ears begging for a response, my mouth agape...my god, I must look like a moron right now.

"Oh? I thought you had no interest in your little sister."

She gives me an evil smirk, raising her eyebrow a bit. Damn I've played right into that. There's just no winning with Kuroneko. I quickly pulled back my hand and straighten myself up, going back into a neutral posture and continued walking.

"*Ahem* It's not like that...I was just..surprised. She didn't contact my parents at all. I guess I'm a bit worried."

"Hmm. I must admit, even I find that shocking."

"Yea...my parents are really upset and worried."

"No. That she hasn't contacted you."

"Why do you say that? Is it really that surprising? You of all people should know how Kirino could care less about me."

"*Sigh, you sad, pitiful human. You really are worthless."

Kuroneko says while shaking her head slightly, looking towards the ground. What the hell does that mean? This pass year Kuroneko saw first-hand the relationship Kirino and I have. Hell she even asked me why I do the things I do for her despite the way she treats me. At the time, I said I didn't know, which was the god honest truth, but then she was guessing answers like "Sis-con" and "Masochist" which really, REALLY felt uncomfortable. So I just gave her a simple and believable answer so she would drop it; it being because we're siblings. She seemed satisfied with the answer at the time...so her response right now is really confusing.

"Di-did I say something wrong?"

"No more than usual. It's your density that befuddles me."

"Tch. Whatever."

I swear she reminds me of Kirino sometimes, a bit more refined and mature, but Kirino nonetheless. Kinda makes me happy a little.

"So...what did you hear from Kirino?"

"Sorry, but I am under a powerful, soul-binding blood oath to keep whatever the 'sweet' one and I discuss about under heavy guard. That includes from you."

Yup. Definitely Kirino in there.

"Oh come on! That's not fair. If I wasn't suppose to know anything, why did you practically flaunt it to me?"

"Fufufu. Because seeing you sweat amuses me greatly."

Geh...this damned chuunibyou. Why can I never get a straight answer from anyone nowadays? Throwing my arms in the back of my head I sigh in defeat. There's no used trying to get an answer out of this one. I just have to accept the fact that Kirino doesn't want to ta-

"However."

"Geh...what?"

"If you appeal to me for awhile, I may opt to share some things with you. Little by little."

"Huh? What? You want me to be your personal slave or something?"

"No. As entertaining as that would be, you are already bound to your little sister. Even at a distance, she influences your mood. I must admit, her powers are formidable."

Burned me. I can feel my eyebrow twitching at that comment. I swear there's an underlying meaning to it, but I won't dig.

"But didn't you promise to keep your conversations with her a secret? I mean it's not like I want to force you to break it or anything."

"True, but the oath wasn't made in America. Thus, the bond is weakened the further she's away from here."

Did anyone else understand that? No? Ok good, because I sure as hell didn't.

"Uhhh...ok. In that case, what do you need from me?"

"We'll discuss the terms of our agreement after we meet with Saori."

"Uh, gotcha."

Not sure why but I feel slightly uneasy about this. What could Kuroneko possibly want from me? Ah well, no use thinking about it now. I'll find out later. We reached my house and low and behold, Saori is waiting right outside the gate. I wave at her to get her attention.

"Hey Saori, we're here!"

"Ahh, Kyousuke-shi! Kuroneko-shi! Right on time!"

She gives us a bright smile while waving back and forth. She really does cherish us, and it's been awhile since we've hung out.

"Long time no see. Where have you been, Saori?"

"Ahh, been busy with school Kyousuke-shi. Shall we discuss plans for this weekend inside?"

"Sounds good."

We enter the house and I direct Saori and Kuroneko to my room, gathering drinks and snacks in the kitchen. I notice out the corner of my eye mom is in the living room reading a magazine.

"I'm home."

"Sorry for the intrusion, Mrs. Kousaka."

Says Saori, while her and Kuroneko bow.

"Oh hello, and welcome! You're Kirino's friends, right?"

"That's right! We're also great friends with Kyousuke-shi as well."

Mom looks at me and gives me a suspicious smirk. Oh crap, I know what that means...

"My my, Kyousuke, aren't you too young to be having a har-"

NOT TODAY!

"ANYWAYS! Saori, Kuroneko! Upstairs, I'll bring up some snacks and stuff!"

I push them both out the living room door as if my life depended on it and direct my attention back to mom. Unbelievable, she's giggling like a school girl!

"Are you trying to make me die of embarrassment? It's not like that mom! They're just good friends."

"Hehehe, of course Kyousuke. You know I love to tease you."

"Tch. Show some restraint. Last thing I need right now."

I grabbed the refreshments and place them on a tray making my way to the living room door, when mom speaks out. Her tone is alot different now. A little more serious, but saddened.

"Kyousuke...have you tried contacting Kirino?"

"No mom, I haven't tried. I figured she doesn't want to hear from me."

"Oh...I see."

Mom gives a long-winded sigh and drops her head down a little. I rarely ever see my mom like this. It's...heartbreaking.

"I'm sorry, mom..I didn't mean..."

"No it's ok, Kyousuke. You may be right, but it's not just you."

"Huh?"

"I've tried calling Kirino earlier after breakfast when your father left for work. She hasn't picked up. I called again shortly before you came back home and again, no response..."

Seriously? Of all the people Kirino shouldn't ignore is mom. That girl! She needs a punch in the mouth from time to time. Having our mother worried sick like this.

"I'm just..so worried about her. I just want to know if she's ok."

I put the refreshments on the table and sit next to my mom. I put my arm around her for comfort, she appears close to crying. It's funny, this is...the first time I've done this for her in a long while. My mom is a strong woman, no doubt, but when she gets like this, it's usually either dad or Kirino that comforts her. Man, now that I think about it, I feel so...well...bad. Those 3 years I've spent barely interacting with my family because I always felt like I was unimportant and useless to them...how much did I miss exactly?

"It's ok, mom. I'll...try later on to give her a call, ok? If she responds I'll let you know first thing."

I hug her tightly to show how serious I am. She seems to be at ease now.

"Thank you, Kyousuke. You really are a wonderful son."

"Ah...thanks...mom."

Wow, when was the last time mom gave me a compliment like that? That made me feel good, no great even! Like it's something I've needed to hear for a long time. My spirits shot up quite a bit even if that wasn't my intention here.

"Your father doesn't know I've tried calling Kirino. Please keep it from him for now. I don't need him getting upset."

I nod in acknowledgement. I get up from the couch and give mom a slight pat on the back. She seems a lot better now. I take the refreshments and head upstairs to my room where Saori and Kuroneko are waiting. I hope they don't mind the delay.

"Hey, sorry for the wait you two, mom needed to speak with me about something."

"Ahhh, not a problem Kyousuke-shi! Kuroneko-shi and I were just discussing plans."

Saori says while sitting on the floor crafting a miniature gundam model. Kuroneko made herself comfortable on my bed working on her game concept for the club. She seems pretty deep in thought.

"So, have either of you two heard anything from Kirino yet?"

"Huh? You mean...YOU haven't heard from Kirino yet either?"

"No, she hasn't contacted me...Not even an e-mail..."

Saori gives me a crestfallen look before tilting her head down slightly. I'm positively shocked right now. She hasn't contacted Saori either? Maybe that means she hasn't contacted anyone at all...wait a sec...

"Really? That's odd because she contacted Kuro-"

Before I can get her name out, Kuroneko sends a death glare straight at me enough to send shivers down my spine. I already knew what it meant: "Shut up, you idiot."

"Hm? What was that, Kyousuke-shi?"

"Ah...ah..I mean it's odd that she hasn't contacted either of you guys. You both are precious to her. Knowing Kirino, I can't see why she wouldn't. Kirino takes great pride in her friends."

Kuroneko turns back to her game project. Nice save, old boy. Nice save.

"That's what I was thinking too, which makes it somewhat better to deal with. Still, it's quite upsetting. I've accepted her not saying anything about leaving, not even a good bye, but no contact at all after a month?"

"I wouldn't take it too personally, Saori. Well I would but it's not only you. She hasn't contacted my parents either. I'm not trying to make excuses for her, but maybe she's really into her training, I guess."

"...Maybe you're right, Kyousuke-shi. Thank you."

"No problem. When she comes back though, you have my permission to smack some sense into her. She deserves it."

Saori gives a light chuckle and smiles. Looks like she's feeling better. I turn towards Kuroneko, noticing she stopped working on her project. I can tell from here that she has a look of guilt in her eyes after hearing Saori's feelings on the subject of Kirino. What could she possibly be hiding to not let Saori, our great friend in on it? Hell even I feel a bit guilty because I'm aware and can't say a word. Whatever she knows better be worth seeing our friend in such torment.

"Well! Now I feel refresh! Let's discuss some plans for the weekend, shall we?"

I smile and nod in relief. We spend the next hour talking about what to do over the weekend. I suggested going to Akihabara for some shopping and to stop by the Maid cafe. The plan was to take photos and post them up on their SNS to make Kirino jealous as revenge for not contacting anyone. Kuroneko naturally approved of the idea.

"Great, so I'll see you both tomorrow then. Looking forward to this!"

"Ha ha! Same here, Kyousuke-shi!"

With the plans agreed on, we call it a day. I walk Saori and Kuroneko outside the house and wave good bye. After Saori gets far enough, I lightly grab Kuroneko's shoulder. She doesn't turn around to face me. I guess she knows what I want to ask her.

"Hey Kuroneko...how come you didn't tell Saori about Kirino contacting you?"

Kuroneko looks down, and states:

"Because the message doesn't concern Saori."

Ouch. That's kinda cold. The hell is she thinking?

"What do you mean? Isn't that kinda cold? She's your friend too, you know?"

"I admit, while it pains me to withhold this from Saori, I believe it is a necessary sacrifice for the time being."

Again, I'm completely dumbfounded with Kuroneko's thinking. I won't press the matter. If she says she can't tell her then I have to trust her, as bad as I feel about it.

"At any rate, I believe it's time to discuss the terms of our soul-binding blood contract, don't you think, Senpai?"

Oh right, I almost forgot about that. It's been quite an emotional day.

"Oh uh...sure. I'm listening."

"Good. First and foremost, any information I give you on this subject matter you will keep to yourself. If you even dare tell another soul, the bond is broken and I shall curse your soul to the darkest pits of hell."

Gulping hard, I nod in agreement. Knowing Kuroneko, she'll make good on that threat.

"Second, you will help me with anything I request of you. The 'sweet' one may own you, but I'm sure she wouldn't mind if I take her place for now."

"I think having one master is enough for me, but sure I'll help you with anything you need. If anything, I still owe you one for helping me with that whole anime fiasco."

"Don't be foolish, I was merely curious."

"Heh, right right. Anything else."

"Yes. This is the last but most important: You will be honest with me, with anything I ask you about."

Feeling confused I hesitate to agree with that request. Confused because I don't particularly understand what she's referring to. Haven't I always been honest with Kuroneko?

"I...I don't quite understand what you're getting at Kuroneko. I've always been honest with you, haven't I?"

"Perhaps, yes, but I have a feeling when the time comes, that will change very fast. So, as a countermeasure, I'm making you promise to be honest with me no matter what, understand?"

I don't know why but I feel sweat coming down from my brow. Something tells me to disagree with this. To run and forget I ever asked about what Kirino said to her. Unfortunately, my curiosity outweighs my need for self-preservation. I accepted.

"Uh...alright, I agree. I will be honest with anything you have to ask of me. Just...don't get your hopes up. I don't know what you're expecting out of it."

"Fufu. Believe me, my expectations for things to come are well underway."

"Uh...great."

I say scratching my head. I feel like I just made a deal with the devil just now. Once again, Kuroneko turns to leave and I end up grabbing her shoulder. She's not getting away that easily.

"He-hey! You said you would tell me what Kirino messaged you, right?"

"*Sigh* I guess I should keep my end of the bargain, you really are pitiful."

"Come on, it's only fair. Now what did she say?"

Kuroneko looks away from me and says:

"She wanted to know what your current condition is."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

Kuroneko reaches into her pocket and pulls out her cell phone. With a few button clicks, she turns it towards me. The screen is bright as day and I can see the message as just as clear. Kuroneko wasn't lying when she said Kirino contacted her, but what I saw next defied all of my expectations:

**To: Kuroneko**

**From: Kirino**

**Subject: (No subject)**

**-How is he?**

My eyes and mouth open wide in shock. "How is he?" By he does she mean me? Could it be? It can't be. Why would she be concerned for me? Why do I sound like a Dr. Seuss character right now? She must mean someone else...but what other guy could Kirino be referring to, let alone asking Kuroneko about.

"When...when did you get this?"

"This morning at school."

"And you've said nothing to me?"

"I wasn't obligated to."

*sigh* Can I rage now? Please?

"Geh...well..fine...but can you at least tell me what you said to her?"

Kuroneko turned her phone towards her while again clicking buttons as she explained:

"Hmph. I didn't say anything. No words can describe your sorry looking disposition. So I used another option."

And with that, Kuroneko again turns the phone towards me. This time there was no message, but a picture. Upon closer inspection, it was of me, in class today with my head down on my folded arms with my cell phone opened in my hand. The expression in my eyes, and I can't believe I'm saying this, were those of a dead fish. God, I look like someone who just had his heart broken. How the hell did she get this picture without me noticing?

"She didn't reply after that, but I'm sure the message got across."

Afterwards Kuroneko shuts her phone and turns to walk home. I just stand there, not even offering a good bye, just completely shocked at what I had just witnessed. This whole day has been very emotional for me and I've been trying my best to keep my depression at bay and have a somewhat good day, but that was just it for me. I go back inside and just flop myself on the couch. I knew exactly what that picture symbolized. The hardest thing was seeing myself like that. I've already admitted to myself that I miss my little sister, but I had no idea I've been showing it this much, and all it took was a measly cell phone picture to see that.

"I wonder what Kirino thought about it. Probably thinks I'm gross or something."

I turn on my back and pull out my phone, highlighting Kirino's phone number. I want to call her. I really do. Why can't I? She had the guts to ask how I was doing, so why can't I just make the call? Granted she didn't ask me directly, but still.

All I have to do...is push the button. That damned call button, a button that may as well represent a self-destruct button complete with a skull marked on it.

"...Nah, it's getting pretty late, and I know by now it's already night time over there. Maybe tomorrow."

I close my phone and put my hands in the back of my head. I think I'll sleep here tonight. The couch isn't comfortable but I don't feel like going back upstairs right now. I'm sure mom will understand. My eyes grow heavy and I let out a yawn, content to sleep while the sun begins to set. It's really soothing today, like the universe is singing a lullaby to me, ensuring me that everything's ok. My eyes nearly closed before I let out a mumble to myself:

"I wonder...if she misses me too..."

A/N: Whew! 5,000+ words this time around. Kinda proud of that. Anyways next chapter will be a Kirino POV. As I said before I want to also try and focus on her time in america. Thanks for the Favs, follows and reviews so far!


	5. Running From You, or Running For you?

Chapter 4: Running From You, or Running For You?

**Kirino POV / Training camp dorm room: April, 12:34 am**

After a hard days worth of training, everything finally settles down, everyone under the watchful light of the moon, shining brilliantly through the window, not at all disturbing, but soothing. It is now the night time, I can hear the crickets outside chirping in unison, while the fireflies dance in harmony outside my window. It's a beautiful sight to experience...despite the fact that I should be sleeping right now. Instead, I'm tossing and turning in my covers, unable to find peace despite the outside world trying to offer it to me. My head running continuously with thoughts about that one person. That idiot, but I guess it's kind of my fault...

Yesterday, before dinner, I sent a text message to Kuroneko asking how Aniki was doing. I was scared of course, mostly because I didn't tell Kuroneko I was leaving for track coaching in America, nor did I say good bye. I thought she would hate me for sure, ignore me even. Kuroneko is one of my closest friends and she deserved to know more than anyone with everything we have talked about. I feel like I betrayed her a bit, I hope she doesn't take it to heart, I'll make it up to her one day, maybe I'll help her with her Maschera novel a bit. I know everyone's really upset and worried about me right now since I haven't contacted anyone other than Kuroneko. I don't even want to think what my parents are feeling right now, especially dad, who must be fuming out his ears, but the one person I wanted to know more about, as much as I hate to admit it, was Kyousuke. I shouldn't feel this way, I promised myself I would forget and move on from him, but I couldn't help it. I was craving to know whether he missed me or not, but I was also afraid of what I might learn. For all I knew he could have been spending more time with that plain girl while I'm gone. It would be the perfect opportunity right? He could bring her over our house anytime and not have to worry about me interfering. God, the thought of it is enough to make my chest hurt, but awhile after I had sent that message to Kuroneko, she responds back with a picture that made my heart nearly stop.

It was Kyousuke during class, holding up his phone with his head down in his arms on the desk. The look on his face was so pitiful and humorously re-inforces my "dead fish" comment about him. I already knew what it meant, Kuroneko didn't have to explain anything. Afterwards I skipped dinner and went to my dorm, wanting to cry myself to sleep. There were so many emotions raging through me at that point I didn't know how to control it: I was happy, I was sad, but most of all, I was angry.

Happy, because he seemed like he really missed me, Kyousuke rarely shows his emotions out to anyone. For him to let his guard down right where anyone and everyone could see him, lets me know how much of an impact me leaving had on him. I was so relieved, even if that wasn't my goal.

Sad, because he looks so hurt. Again, my intention wasn't to hurt the stupid idiot by leaving, it was to move on, to make my feelings for him disappear, but looking at him in that picture...he looked so pathetic, I just wanted to hug him, contrary to the fact that I would rather die than to even touch him if I was still home.

Angry, because that freaking moron wouldn't make the call! It's obvious that's what he's trying to do right? Why the hell won't you press the call button?! I kept saying to myself over and over again while viewing the picture _"Press it! Press it! Come on, you jerk! I want to hear from you! Why won't you call?"_ A voice mail would do, even a text message for god's sake! Ugh! He makes me so MAD! His density knows no bounds!

"*Sigh* What's the point anyways? My goal is to forget that idiot. Why should I care if he calls or not?"

Truth is...I do care, no matter how much I want to tell myself otherwise. I want to hear his voice. I want him to tell me he misses me, or even ask how I'm doing. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it. It's been affecting me ever since I got here, my coach noticed it recently. My performance has suffered greatly, so much that, if I had to guess, I'm one of the slowest ones here. It's infuriating, and I have the nerve to consider Ria to be my rival and she's the fastest one here! It doesn't make it any better that she's my roommate as well.

"Nyum nyum nyum~. Ehehehehe~. Kirinoooo~. Tell me more about your Onii-chan~. *snore*"

Startled, I turn over to look at Ria who is sleeping on the opposite wall of me, and I smile lightly. She looks so adorable. So at peace, like she hasn't got a care in the world, as long as she can run every day. I envy her, really. As much as I love running as well, she doesn't have a reason to do it other than the love for it, whereas I do it to follow an idol who's no longer here.

"Hehehe, You're so cute, Ria. Run all you like in your dreams."

I rise up from my bed, deciding I can't sleep at the moment. Placing my feet lightly on the floor, I stand up slowly and start to get dressed in my track suit. I decide to make up for any lost in progress by practicing at night. Closing the door quietly, I make my way outside, making sure not to alert staff or the other girls.

Our curfew is at around 9pm, however although our training camp doesn't recommend it without supervision, they allow us to go out and get additional practice on the track if we choose to. However 12am is the most we can stay out, and everyone has to be inside and in their dorm rooms per camp rules. So, you can see I'm already breaking the rules a little, but as long as no one notices, I don't care...I just...need to run. Thankfully our track is fenced in to keep most wildlife out. It's also lighted throughout the whole night. It's perfect, like it's welcoming me into its embrace.

I start my stretches as per routine and bundle my hair up. As I get into a starting position, my stomach makes a huge growl. I jumped a little from that, thinking it was maybe a bear or something. Scared me silly!

"Ahah...I guess I should eat more."

I pull out an energy bar from my bag and munch on it a little. I haven't been eating as much as I should be. I know better than that, and that's probably a huge factor as to why my performance has been suffering. I'll make up for it during breakfast, today is strawberry pancakes day, yum~.

I finish eating my snack and once again get into a starting position. My stomach satisfied for now, I count down in my head, and begin to accelerate. I decide to go all out for now until I start losing most my energy, during which I have nothing on my mind and just concentrate on lasting as long as I can. It's good therapy, for when I don't want to think, and I have a lot of stamina to keep it up...but unfortunately, tonight, it's a different story.

I'm reminded of the time...and reason why I started running in the first place. Back then, when Kyousuke and I's relationship was good, Kyousuke used to run track. I believe I was 9 and he was 12 when I started. Back then, Kyousuke was the best at it. He won all of his track meets, first place. The smile on his face when he flashed his medal at me was incredible and always made my heart d back flips. I was so happy for him, and all I could think about was wanting to be just like him.

One day, when Kyousuke went out to practice track with his friends, I stopped him to ask if we could spend time together:

_"Hey! Onii-chan! Where are you going?"_

_"Oh, Kirino? I'm going out to practice with some friends. What's up?"_

_"Oh...ok..."_

_"Huh? What's wrong Kirino? You can tell me."_

_"I just...wanted to spend more time with you today...is all..."_

Kyousuke just sighed, I thought he was annoyed a little, but he put on a sweet smile, a smile I will never forget, and put his hand on my head, patting it, and saying:

_"You're so cute, Kirino. How about when I come back, we can go to the park or something. I'll spend the rest of the day with you. How's that sound?"_

My eyes widened in joy. He really was an amazing older brother. No matter how busy he got, he would make time just for me. His friends were important of course, but I was his number one and he never failed to show it.

_"O..okay Onii-chan! You better promise me!"_

_"Hahaha, have I ever disappointed you, Kirino? I always keep my promises to you."_

Satisfied, Kyousuke turned to run off, but before he could start, I grabbed the edge of his shirt, stopping him on the spot. He looked at me confused and at first I wasn't going to say anything, just ask for a hug before he left, but my mind was made up, I wanted...to spend more time with Kyousuke...in any way possible.

_"Huh? What's wrong Kirino? I said I'd come back later for you..."_

_"Uhm..Onii-chan? Uhm, I was thinking..."_

_"Yea?"_

_"Uhm...I was wondering...if I started running track too, maybe...uhm..maybe...I could start training with you as well?"_

Kyousuke just looked at me motionless for awhile, he looked kind of surprised at my request. I was so nervous, I thought he would say no, that he wanted to spend time with his friends, that maybe I was taking up too much of his time. What he said next, made my heart jump 10 feet in the air:

_"Hehe, sure Kirino."_

_"Huh? Rea...really? You mean it?"_

_"Of course I do, I think that would be an awesome idea! That way you and I can spend more time together."_

Those words...those beautiful words were forever etched into my heart along with that smile of his. I can't believe I doubted him for even a second. My Onii-chan was just absolutely wonderful. I could have cried right there.

_"However! It's not going to be easy, it takes a lot of hard work to get as good as I am. Hahaha."_

He says while rubbing under his nose. Hehehe my Onii-chan was always so cocky, but never arrogant. I always loved that about him.

_"You'll have to practice every day, probably early in the morning as well, and eat the right foods. I can help you out from time to time and give you pointers. It's not something that's going to happen overnight, but if you fully commit to it, I bet you'll get as good as me in no time!"_

_"I will, Onii-chan! Infact, I'll practice so hard that I'll knock your socks off!"_

_"Hahahah! Now that's something I want to see! I'll be looking forward to it, Kirino."_

Kyousuke then gives me a hug and runs off with his friends. I was so happy that day I thought I was in heaven. I knew I had to get started right away if I was ever going to catch up with Kyousuke. I wanted to make him proud. I wanted him to say that he was impressed with me. I wanted to be his ideal girl. If I can beat him at track, I know Kyousuke will never look at anyone else.

I practiced everyday, every morning, every afternoon. Non-stop. It was tough at first, I got tired out in the first 2 minutes, but as time went on, and with the thought of my goal shining in my head, I got better. I got faster. I was so happy. It took me about a good year to get that far. I wanted to try racing Kyousuke to see how good I got.

Unfortunately when that day came, Kyousuke started to slow down, he began distancing himself from me, and spending more time with that neighbor-girl. Eventually, to my utter horror, he quit doing track. I was so upset I could scream. All my hard work gone to waste. My dream of being Kyousuke's ideal girl turned into a nightmare. He broke his promise to me and never owned up to it. My heart shattered into a million pieces.

However, I wasn't going to just throw away my hard work like he did. No, I decided to continue, to keep getting better. I wanted to surpass him, to become what he used to be and more! I wanted to show him I no longer needed him around anymore, just like he did me!

"Ah! No! I'm crying! Not good!"

I was so lost in my thoughts I haven't even realized my eyes filling up with tears, obstructing my view. I couldn't see the next sharp turn to the left and before I could react it was too late. I turned too hard and ended up slipping on my side, bracing my upper body for impact on the cold track surface.

"Ow, ow, ow, OW! That hurt! Ah...my knee..."

I sat myself up and checked my knee for damage. I got a pretty nasty scrape on the side and front of my knee. I can already see blood seeping through mixed with dirt. I press down lightly on the affected area to check if I had any further damage. Thankfully I seem to be ok, maybe a bit of bruising but nothing an ice pack wouldn't fix.

"Phew...I guess I should call it a night. I better go treat this before it gets infected."

I dust myself off and collect my thing, returning back to my dorm room while limping a little from the pain. Seeing Ria still asleep I quietly put my gear away and make my way to the bathroom where a small med-kit is located. It's not uncommon for some of us to fall and get injured while training, though that was my first time in a long while. I grabbed the kit and return to my bed. I start cleaning the wound with the supplied alcohol pads, flinching and hissing at the pain.

"Yikes, that stings! How can anyone stand using this stuff?"

I quickly cover my mouth shut when I noticed Ria shuffle under her covers. I need to be more quiet. While holding my breath I finished cleaning the wound, then covered it with some gauge and bandage. Finally I lay an ice pack on it to soothe the bruising. The cool feel rests my tired nerves and I start to relax a little...and think about stuff.

"Kinda reminds me a little of the time after Aniki got punched by dad..."

Ah now that's...a story that I'm super embarrassed to tell. But well...dad punched Kyousuke after he had taken the blame for my eroge. I was hiding behind the wall at the time next to the living room door, listening in to their conversation. I didn't see it, but I swear I felt the impact of dad's fist hitting Kyousuke. It was earth shattering! My dad is an expert practionioner of Judo and is super strong, being a cop and all. After yelling his disfavor for Kyousuke, dad stormed out the living room but not before stopping and noticing me near the wall. I'll never forget that look he gave me, it was terrifying. I could practically see the anger seething through every orifice of dad's face, but the one emotion I could not ignore was disgust...not towards Kyousuke, but towards me. Dad has never looked at me like that before, it was painful. I was his little perfect princess, but all it took was my "shameful" hobby to shatter that. I know dad still loves me, but I don't think he knew how much of an impact that had on me. My own father..couldn't accept me for who I was right there and then, but Kyousuke...did so without even thinking about it. Which seemed like an eternity, dad finally left into the bedroom and I peeked into the living room. There he was, the idiot, knocked out cold on the floor. My heart tightened at the very sight, I almost compared it to him taking a bullet for me.

_"You stupid moron...You stupid, idiotic, brave, wonderful moron." _

I whispered to myself. After all these years of not speaking to each other, you would still go out of your way to protect me, no matter what the cost. I couldn't understand why, but at that time I didn't dwell on it. I ran upstairs to grab the First-Aid kit and returned to the living room, kneeling beside Kyousuke. I poked his cheeks a little and whispered his name to make sure he was really out of it. Knowing my brother, he wouldn't wake up if even a train ran through the house. He was already starting to bruise up, blood seeping down his lips. I began by wiping his face with a cool, damp cloth, then applied some ointment to reduce the swelling. He started to react a little to my touch, seemingly moving his head against the cloth where I was wiping. I couldn't help but smile at him while caressing his face with my bare hand. In that instant, all the animosity I had towards him at that particular moment was all but gone...all I wanted to do was take care of the poor fool. It made feelings I kept locked away in my heart re-emerge almost instantly, but only for that moment, of course. I owe him this much.

I finished applying bandages and make my way out towards my room, but not before hearing Kyousuke mumble something that froze me in my tracks:

_"Uhm...Kirino..." _

I turned around slowly, hoping to god he wasn't awake during that whole thing. Thankfully, he was still out...just talking in his sleep. I wonder...what he was dreaming about. Relieved, I smile at him and whispered:

_"You're welcome...Aniki."_

That night, I couldn't sleep a wink. Events of that day replaying in my head with the infinite loop setting on. Why did he do this? I thought he didn't care for me anymore. He left and betrayed me all those years ago, but here he is protecting me like he used to do. I just can't read the guy, but I decided I'm going to involve him a little more into my life. I need to watch him, to know if he's still that one person in the world I value over everyone else.

The next day I thank him for convincing dad to let me keep my hobby. He looked so shocked it was kinda adorable for a second. The idiot. I giggled in my head when I saw he still had his bandages on. He had no clue who done it for him. He probably thinks it was mom. I'd sooner die than to tell him it was me.

"*yawn* Kirino?~ You're still awake?"

"Ah! Ria? Did I wake you?"

"Mmm, not really. I just wanted to get a quick drink of water...are you ok? You look kinda sad."

"Oh...uhm...I'm ok. I just had a little nightmare, is all."

"Ooooh, ok. Well gimme a sec and I'll comfort you! Tee-hee!"

She says as she skips her way towards the bathroom, even in the dead of night that child has an amazing amount of energy. So adorable. I take the opportunity to hide the med-kit under my bed and dispose of the used supplies. I place my knee under the covers just in time to see Ria come walking back into the room. With a smile on her face she plops herself next to me on my bed. She turns to look up at me, her eyes still looking a bit drowsy, but glimmers brightly in the moonlight.

"You said you had a bad dream, Kirino? What was it about? Was it about your Onii-chan?"

I shake my head firmly, while I was thinking about that idiot, I wouldn't exactly call it a nightmare.

"No no, Ria. I can't really recall. It's not important anyways, but hey...uhm, now that you're up for a bit, there's something I've been wanting to know about you."

"Really?! That's great! Not many people ask much about myself. I'll answer any questions you have!"

"Really? That's surprising. Don't you get a lot of interviews with the press? I'm sure people have a ton of questions to ask you."

"Well...true..but they mostly just ask about my future, or how is it that I can run so fast for such a girl my age. They never ask me anything personal or really related to myself."

Wow, that made my heart clench a little. I know that feeling all too well. Being a well-known model in Japan, people don't really ask me about my personal life or interests, they just care about how I got here, what's my secret to having the body I have at my age and where I'm headed next. I get a lot of attention of course, but it still feels so lonely. I feel like people only really care about what I am and not WHO I am. If people were to ever find out about my otaku hobby, how would they look at me then? They would be disgusted and reject me, the REAL Kirino Kousaka. I've already had a taste of that reality when Ayase found out about it. If it wasn't for Kyousuke butting in, I doubt we would be friends now, and I know full well she hasn't accepted me completely, more like baring with it. Hell even my parents were shocked and disappointed. My own parents! Aren't they supposed to be the most supportive of me? Everyone always has an expectation out of me...everyone...except for...

"...Kirino? Are you ok? You look flustered."

"Ah ah...I'm sorry. Yea, I know how you feel Ria. In that case, let me ask you this: How come you started running in the first place? Like what's your motivation?"

Ria's face began to flush while still smiling, then looked away from me as if embarrassed about my question. Now I'm really curious.

"Hehehe, promise not to make fun of me?"

"Of course, I would never make fun of you, sweety."

"Teehehehe...my mom."

"Huh?"

"Hehe...my mom used to be a track star too. She was one of the best! Hehe, I guess that's where I get it from. She participated in the Olympics and almost always placed first, shattering all kinds of records. She would always show me her awards and trophies and tell me stories about them. I idolized my mom for being amazing, like she could do anything!"

Wow. She's just like me! She had someone who she idolizes too! I face her to give her a smile but just as quickly, her expression changes from happiness to a woeful one...this is the first time I've seen her that way.

"But then...she got injured. I'm not sure how it happened, but she ended up twisting her ankle while participating in a track meet and fell hard on the ground. She ended up tearing her Achilles tendon...and...it just never healed right. She had to give it up..."

That must have been so hard for her to tell, I just wanted to hug her. The melancholy look on her face was heart-breaking, especially for a 12 year old girl. Despite that though, Ria didn't shed any tears. I almost wanted to do it for her.

"Oh...I'm so sorry to hear that Ria."

"It's ok...she doesn't regret it. She says it gives her more time to spend with me...though sometimes I could see the look on her face and I can tell she longed to get back into it. So then one day, I decided I'd do it for her!"

The shine in her eyes returned almost instantly.

"I told her I wanted to carry on her legacy and be just like her. I trained everyday, she coached me as much as she could, and when she saw how good I was getting in such a short time, she said I should try going pro, and well...here I am. Hehehe~.

"Oh wow! That is so amazing of you. To be honest I thought your only reason for running was for the love of it."

"Oh it is as well, I love running more than anything else in the world, but my mom is the reason I've started in the first place. I wanted to make her proud, I wanted her to live her dream through me. She's the most important person in my life."

I was mistaken, she does have a reason for running and it's the same as me. I can't believe how alike we are, we both love running, and we're both following an idol, both of whom are family members. Where have you been all my life, Ria?

"So what about you, Kirino? What's your reason for running?"

*Sigh* I was hoping she wouldn't ask me that. Wishful thinking on my part but whatever, she told me her reason, it's only fair I do too. I'll try to be as vague about it as possible though. I turn my head towards the window, my face bathing in the moonlight, I bring up the image of my idol to the forefront of my mind.

"I guess...kinda the same reason as you, Ria. I too...starting running for an idol I knew long ago...I looked up to this person so much, spent an enormous amount of time with this person, and valued this person more than anyone in the whole world..."

"Ooooooh, what ever happened to "this person" Kirino?"

I tilt my head down towards the floor, knowing what I'm getting ready to say. No matter how strong I've become, this will forever be the most painful memory of my life. Holding back the tears trying to form in my eyes, I could only say:

"He...he disappeared."

"Oh..."

"But...but I know one day...he'll come back. I know he will, and even if he doesn't I'll become his legacy. I'll become what he was...because...I..I..."

"It's ok, Kirino. You don't need to force yourself."

Ria gives me a big hug around my waist and nuzzles her head on my shoulder. I couldn't help but return the gesture.

"I'm sure he will come back, because I bet even to this day, he loves you as much as you love him..."

I give her a wry smile and nod slightly, still holding back the tears in my eyes. So much for being vague huh? Oh well, at least she doesn't know who I'm referring to. Her words are so warm though, It's something I really needed to hear.

"Hehe, you think so huh?"

"Teehehe, I know so. Who couldn't love you, Kirino? You're so amazing and beautiful. I wish you were my big sister!"

"Wh-what are you saying all of a sudden?"

Even though I say that, I wish she was my little sister as well. Hehe.

"How about we make a promise?"

"Ah? A promise?"

"Yea! To work hard for the ones we cherish the most! After all, they're both the reason why we are here, right?"

Those last words...felt like a double-edged sword plunging deep into my heart. Yes, he is the reason why I'm here, but only because I wanted to forget about him...but then again...if I truly want that, why am I following in his footsteps? Am I really doing this to move on or continue to secure his memory in my heart. This whole time I've been here, I've been thinking about Aniki non-stop, even if I don't want to, I can't help it. My reason for running? Kyousuke. My modeling career? Kyousuke. My amazing grades? Kyousuke. These were all the traits he had years ago and I decided to follow in those footsteps despite my anger towards him. If I had to really think, the only thing I've ever really done for myself is my novel, but even then I had Kyousuke help me with that. Even the reason why I like imouto eroge is...I just...can't really help but wonder...do I really want this? Do I really want to forget about him?

"*Yawn* well I'm going to head back to sleep, Kirino. Don't stay up too long. We have a lot of work to do for our idols tomorrow."

"Hehe...of course."

Ria releases her hold of me and walks back to her bed. She gives me a small smile before turning over and finally going to her slumber. So cute.

After I finally exhaust my mind, I lay down under my covers for some much needed sleep. As I close my eyes I remember one last bit of detail from that time Kyousuke stood up for me:

_"Everything right here is part of Kirino! Without even a single one of these, she won't be who she is!"_

"I guess the same applies to you too, Aniki. If you really don't remember anything from our past...you're not the Onii-chan I fell in love with...idiot."


End file.
